It’s one thing to love someone and another to rely on him to keep you well. If you look for love in your relationship, you should be looking after yourself, because reliance is more than love.
Let’s look at the differences between love and emotional dependence:
Emotional Dependency Is
- Above all, be loyal to him, no matter how foolish, disrespectful, disloyal, or violent he is. He is, without a doubt, the best.
- See him as you want him to be, rather than as he is.
- Make him the person who is in charge of your happiness and self-esteem.
- When you are not with him or he does not call when you expect, you become desperate.
- Believing he would make you feel safe and lovely in a way you have never felt before.
- Make a list of the expectations you believe you must meet.
- You believe you won’t be able to live without it.
- When you are not with him, you feel empty and alone.
- Jealousy and possessiveness.
- For him, alter your habits and hobbies.
- Take their advice more seriously than your own.
The Love That is Born of Fear is not Love, It is Need
Inner emptiness is the source of emotional reliance. You’ve created a void, and you’re the only one who can fill it. However, you’re seeking for a spouse who will do it for you and shower you with all the affection you deserve.
Nothing has the power to govern love. Love is the bedrock upon which you and your spouse stand. You don’t have to keep him under your control or possess him. Love is about giving and sharing, not about receiving.
Love is not reliant on anything. When you love someone, you adore their deepest traits, the ones that do not fade away with time.
It’s not about the money, the passion, or the appearance. It’s a sense of pride in the person you’re with for who they are and how they act.
It’s about loving oneself beyond anything else. Sharing your heart with him is something you want to do, not something you have to do. It is to grow as a group, but also individually.
It’s laughing till you’re in tears and knowing that you’d give anything for him right now. It’s knowing that you want to spend the rest of your life with him, but not at any cost. It’s about respecting him, and perhaps more importantly, respecting you.
To Really Love Someone You have to Love Yourself First
You can never love or see other people’s essence if you don’t love your own. When you only look at the surface, love becomes confused with emotional dependence.
Don’t settle for replacements; instead, peel back the layers of the surface to find the essence, which is where true love can be found.