It’s not always easy to let go.
We can let go without realizing what we’ve let go of. Other times, we cling on because we believe it is the only option. And practically everyone of us has a specific individual in mind when we read this. Let’s refer to this individual as “the one that got away.”
This happens to certain people on a regular basis. Some of us have the misfortune of falling in love with more than one person over the course of our lives. And when I say poor luck, I don’t mean you’ve broken your heart more than once.
Nobody who has ever been in love has never known heartbreak. Not a single one. Never.
It’s true that falling in love might be a case of bad luck. It isn’t, however, an accident. It’s one thing to meet the love of your life by chance; it’s another to choose to love that person. You must be willing to accept the possibilities that life offers. And once you’ve fallen in love, you must acknowledge that you’ve fallen in love.
There are those who go through this process multiple times, falling in love too many times only to be heartbroken again. Clearly, they are not learning from their mistakes.
But how can a poor relationship teach you anything?
To begin, you must acknowledge that you have made a mistake. You picked the incorrect person, someone who was not right for you. You can re-analyze the circumstance, your relationship, and your life as a whole after you accept and let go of it.
When you ultimately dump the incorrect person, you’ll probably learn the following lessons:
1. There are things you can deal with, and others just won’t flow
You can deal with a certain amount of casualness. You can cope with a certain degree of intimacy or independence. Most importantly, you’ve learnt how you want to be treated – and how you don’t want to be handled.
If your previous lover was a jerk, you now know that such behavior will never be tolerated between you. You now know you can’t deal with someone who isn’t a wonderful person if your last girlfriend was a monster.
Sometimes our emotions get the best of us, and we don’t even recognise when someone is trying to hurt us. But now that you’ve let go of all those things, you understand the importance of being appreciated.
2. Relationships are tremendously important, but so are you
Most couples encounter one of two issues: either one partner gets drawn into the relationship and loses control of their own life, or the other partner becomes so self-sufficient that the relationship becomes a joke.
If you’ve ever been in a position like this, I hope you now see the importance of maintaining a healthy balance in your relationships. There can’t be only “we” or “me” time. A healthy partnership necessitates both.
People are self-sufficient. The relationship will suffer if you lose yourself. Losing your partner, on the other hand, will kill her. To be honest, it’s like trying to balance on a tightrope. But, as with anything, it will come with time and effort, and you will improve.
3. You are neither the perfect person nor the perfect partner
You weren’t the only “wrong person” you walked away from; you weren’t the proper one for your relationship either.
We all have tasks to complete. Nobody is without flaws. Everyone has flaws. We all make errors. We say things we don’t mean and fail to express our gratitude. We all have terrible days, poor moods, and bad streaks from time to time. That’s fine—as long as you acknowledge that you’re not perfect and commit to improving.
You’ve realized that you need to work harder to improve as a person, a friend, a partner, and a human being. That is all there is to life. Every day, strive to be a better person. When you realize how much more there is to learn, you will begin to strive.
4. Now that you’ve been in love once, you’ll never stop looking for it
Many of us curse love when we leave a relationship. We make a vow to ourselves that we will never trust another falsehood. However, this is a natural reaction after a difficult separation.
You will, however, recognize – sooner or later – that there is no way out of love. It’s something you’ll need in your life. So the best thing you can do is consider how you’re going to make it.
You can tell yourself you’ll never date anyone else again, but you’ll change your mind. You’ll realize that, while it’s not simple, having a loving connection in your life is the difference between living a life worth living and living a life that needs to be fixed.
You can act as though you’ve never loved before. You can even pretend that you’ll never exhaust and that you’ll make excellent decisions, but we both know that’s not the case. You’ll have to look for love again sooner or later. But, surely, we can avoid all the drunken encounters and one-night stands this time?